Divination homework
by Azureadragon
Summary: Harry writes his Divination homework in the study hall.  Ron and Hermione, uh, help.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summery: Harry is writing his Divination homework in study class. Ron and Hermione, uh. . . Help.

Note: Harry is in normal type, _Hermione is in italics_ and **Ron is in bold.**

Divination homework, by Harry Potter.

07:30 – Ignore alarm clock, turn over and go back to sleep.

_Harry! That's awful! If you do that you will be late for class!_

**So what Hermione? There's only you in the entire school who get's up before** **6!**

Guy's, this is my homework sheet. . .

_Oh! Sorry Harry!! I'll spell it clean!_

**Don't bother, just write it out again in best later.**

. . . Okay.

08:30 – Eat breakfast and er. . . find that the foul taste in the pumpkin juice is actually a slow working poison dropped in by Snape!

**Don't give him ideas.**

_Honestly!_

09:10 – Be late for first class. (Transfiguration)

_If you got up earlier you wouldn't be-_

**Oh give it a rest!**

Yeah, I've just been poisoned!

_Hmph!_

09:11 – Get turned into a three legged goat. . .

_Why only three legs?_

. . . Because Ron was late as well and got turned into a rabid lion and bit one off.

**Nice.**

_That's utterly disgusting!_

**Watch it! Snape's coming! **

Phew. . . Gone.

Okay. . uh, 10: 00 – Make way to second class. (History of Magic) but on the way get caught up in a stampede of wild Hippogriffs.

**And you can't get out of the way because you only have one leg left.**

Yeah, I can't get out of the way in time and get trampled. . . . Thanks Ron.

**Don't blame me! You probably ate my breakfast which is why I was so hungry!**

_Boys. . ._

10:30 – Wake up in the middle of class to find a Deatheater with a wand to my throat!

**I'll save you!**

But Ron was asleep as well and gets crusioed until he falls unconscious again.

**. . . Thanks a lot.**

Teach you for biting my leg off.

_Go on. What happens next then?_

Uh. . Hermione throws a heavy text book at him!

_Oh, well. Good. At least one of us was paying attention. _

**But misses.**

_What!?_

And hits me with it instead and breaks my nose.

_Hmph!_

**Ha ha ha. I think this is the most interesting Binn's class has ever been!**

11:00 – Go for break. Try to relax under a tree, but the tree turns out to be the Whomping Willow!! A huge vine wraps around my ankles-

'**Ankle' mate. You only have one remember.**

Oh yeah, thanks Ron.

**Don't mention it.**

-wraps around my ankle and lifts me up into the air. I get thrown from side to side like a rag doll until a dragon swoops down and grabs me with sharp claws! It chews my arm off and drops me. Then I land on the hard ground with a shattering CRASH!!!!

_You're not having a good day really are you?_

**Wicked.**

11:20 – Arrive late for my third class. (Astronomy)

Set up the telescope with difficulty then poke my eye out trying to look through it.

**Ha ha ha.**

Gee, thanks Ron.

Gaze up into the sky and see a huge fiery rock hurtling towards me!

_Have you ever considered becoming an Author Harry?_

**This is the best homework ever!**

Run around screaming-

**One leg mate.**

-Role around the floor screaming for help before the comet hits me and burns me to ashes.

_That won't get you out of your next class you know._

12:00 – Lunch break. Go and visit Hagrid and break all my teeth on his rock cakes.

**That bit's probably true. . .**

Hop out of Hagrid's hut heading for the hospital wing, but get jumped on by a horde of giant, angry spiders.

_What?_

**Ugh.**

The spiders bite off my ear and fingers.

_Harry that really is-!_

**Why the spiders????**

The spiders then get Ron.

**HARRY!!!!!!!! **

Heh heh heh.

2:00 – After being drowned by the giant squid in the lake and bitten by a wereduck-

_A were'duck'????_

Well I don't want to be bias to werewolves.

**It'd be worse turning into a duck on a full moon. . . .**

-Head on to forth class. (Herbology)

_You have Charms after lunch._

Yeah, but there's more stuff to be attacked by in Herbology.

**He's right you know.**

_Whatever._

Put the trawl in my mouth to dig with and have a massive Venus Fly-trap bite my head off!

**That's gotta hurt.**

And hear the Mandrakes cry at the same time.

_I thought the spider bit your ears off._

Only one of them.

_Oh. . ._

Fall unconscious.

**That's not really all that imaginative.**

Yeah but I figured I'll need a bit of a rest by this point.

**Well yeah, there is that.**

02:55 – Get spat out by the Venus Fly-trap and head on to the last lesson of the day. . . Potions!

Get poisoned by Snape. Have my robes set on fire by Malfoy. Fall over and knock my cauldron over spilling acidic potion all over myself. Stub my toe on the stone floor. Get hexed by Snape and then set a million page essay on why I shouldn't have been hexed so easily.

**Now, if the spiders hadn't got me I'd hex Malfoy and the greasy git for you.**

Get hit by another heavy text book because Hermione had to help me rather than Ron who'd been eaten by spiders and she has no aim.

_Why do you keep saying that I have bad aim?_

Because I haven't killed you off.

_Oh, well. Alright then._

**Yet. . .**

Try to crawl out of the dungeon, but get set upon by dark creatures and bats sent by Snape.

**I said don't give him ideas.**

04:30 – Go to bed early, but get eaten by a pillow monster and bedbugs. Oh, and Snape's slow working poison finally kicks in and finishes me off.

_Is that all?_

What do you mean 'is that all??' I've just been poisoned, trampled, lost limbs, mauled, crushed and eaten!

_I mean. . Is that how you're going to finish it? It just seems rather rushed, that's all._

**I think you'd just want it all to end if you'd had a day like that Hermione!**

Well. . . It'll do for now. I'll just write it up later. Hey, can I copy your potions homework?

_Harry! If you just studied you could do your own!_

**Aw, come off it Hermione. What are we gonna do with Potions and what's the old bat gonna care anyway?**

_**A great deal I assure you Mr Weasley, and to prove my point I have charmed your books and quills to keep you and Mr Potter from cheating on my assignment. Detention, 08:00 tonight in the dungeon and 10 points from Gryffindor. Each!**_

End.

Hope you like :-) Please R&R. xXx


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